In light of the passing of “The President of the World” as we’ve heard reporting on the various news networks, a few thoughts…

Over the next few weeks, and many years to come, people will reflect and reminisce about the colossus and icon called Nelson Mandela.

Our ‘Tata Madiba’ as he was affectionately known over the latter years of his life left an indelible mark in many a life. Since the news broke in the early hours of the morning (SA time) there have been many emotions expressed in words and other loss-related emotions. The silence that fell over the Adelaide crowd during the minute of silence during the Ashes Test was a sign of the impact of Mandela. 

In our ‘work’ with people experiencing emotional events, it is not uncommon to hear the words spoken on so many of the news networks and radio stations, who dedicate playlists and hours to the great leader… “we are shocked at the news…” and “I don’t know what to say…I feel numb.”

We’d like to remind readers of the following:

It is OK to feel. We all show it in different ways. In particular, Gentleman, if you ‘well-up’ whilst listening to other recount stories of Madiba, or find yourself feeling “that funny feeling in my throat” (as someone expressed it today) when you talk about what he meant to you, remember, it is normal to feel something. Even numbness – the feeling of not feeling anything or much – is a feeling. Sometimes we feel numb purely because the news we hear with our ears still need to be processed by the heart.  And so, not really feeling anything is OK.

 

The process of grief (stages of grief) takes us all along a road of not feeling much/anything, past the point of anger, frustration and unhappiness with the reality of what happened. Some of us take a turn-off past a deep sadness, with utter regret and even depression, whilst some whizz past with resilience, hope and optimism about the future that lies ahead, despite the painful experience.  There is now prescriptive roadmap.  We’ll all go along this journey in our own way.

 

Let us take courage from Madiba’s words when his close friend Chris Hani was killed during a potentially explosive political time in South Africa.  He said: “Let us use this pain to help us grown stronger, determined to use the experience to make us better.”

As we all process the death of a “leader that shaped leaders” (Barack Obama), let us use this ‘scar’ in our lives to remind us all to grow towards becoming better people, striving towards incorporating some of the attributes for which Nelson Rholihlahla Mandela was known:

Live a life of forgiveness.  Be generous with praise. Make people feel they’re of value. Grow through tough situations. Encourage and inspire others on their life-journey.  Live for more than yourself.

Our prayers remain with his wife, children, grandchildren, extended family, friends, colleagues and all of us “further away” from the impact zone.

As he breathed out his last breath today, let us breathe in our first breaths of life where Madiba is now a memory.  Let us live with resolve to live life to the full as we celebrate his legacy.