In light of the passing of “The
President of the World” as we’ve heard reporting on the various news networks,
a few thoughts…
Over the next few weeks, and many years
to come, people will reflect and reminisce about the colossus and icon called
Nelson Mandela.
Our ‘Tata Madiba’ as he was affectionately
known over the latter years of his life left an indelible mark in many a life. Since
the news broke in the early hours of the morning (SA time) there have been many
emotions expressed in words and other loss-related emotions. The silence that fell over the Adelaide crowd during the minute of silence during the Ashes Test was a sign of the impact of Mandela.
In our ‘work’ with people experiencing
emotional events, it is not uncommon to hear the words spoken on so many of the
news networks and radio stations, who dedicate playlists and hours to the great
leader… “we are shocked at the news…” and “I don’t know what to say…I feel
numb.”
We’d like to remind readers of the
following:
It
is OK to feel. We all show it in different ways. In
particular, Gentleman, if you ‘well-up’ whilst listening to other recount
stories of Madiba, or find yourself feeling “that funny feeling in my throat” (as
someone expressed it today) when you talk about what he meant to you, remember,
it is normal to feel something. Even
numbness – the feeling of not feeling anything or much – is a feeling.
Sometimes we feel numb purely because the news we hear with our ears still need
to be processed by the heart. And so,
not really feeling anything is OK.
The
process of grief (stages of grief) takes us all
along a road of not feeling much/anything, past the point of anger, frustration
and unhappiness with the reality of what happened. Some of us take a turn-off
past a deep sadness, with utter regret and even depression, whilst some whizz
past with resilience, hope and optimism about the future that lies ahead, despite
the painful experience. There is now
prescriptive roadmap. We’ll all go along this journey in our own
way.
Let us take courage from Madiba’s words
when his close friend Chris Hani was killed during a potentially explosive
political time in South Africa. He said:
“Let us use this pain to help us grown stronger, determined to use the
experience to make us better.”
As we all process the death of a “leader
that shaped leaders” (Barack Obama), let us use this ‘scar’ in our lives to
remind us all to grow towards becoming better people, striving towards
incorporating some of the attributes for which Nelson Rholihlahla Mandela was
known:
Live a life of forgiveness. Be generous with praise. Make people feel
they’re of value. Grow through tough situations. Encourage and inspire others
on their life-journey. Live for more
than yourself.
Our prayers remain with his wife, children,
grandchildren, extended family, friends, colleagues and all of us “further away”
from the impact zone.
As he breathed out his last breath today,
let us breathe in our first breaths of life where Madiba is now a memory. Let us live with resolve to live life to the
full as we celebrate his legacy.
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